Cassandra Rose

In response to complaints that Jay-Z and Beyonce illegally vacationed in the communist, cigar-making country of Cuba (despite getting government permission to do so), Mr. Carter has responded in a rather disappointing way: with a whiny song called 'Open Letter.'

You can check out the audio below, in which Hova laments the uselessness of politicians -- okay, as a whole, he's not wrong about that -- and even sort of throws his pal President Obama under the proverbial bus.

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- As if JT weren't enough, Britney Spears has also swapped spit with Ryan Gosling.

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Gerard Butler really needs to stop messing with our hearts, because we're falling for him hard.

First he recreated '300' for his fans, then he talked about dressing up for vagina festivals and he even humored the troops. Now he's lifting weights with children and hugging them and it's possible my ovaries just passed out cold.

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Jimmy Kimmel, in conjunction with Kid Rock for some reason, plans to free Justin Bieber's monkey from its quarantine in Germany ... by threatening to kill David Hasselhoff.

It's so crazy that it just might work.

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Lindsay Lohan was scheduled to appear in a Los Angeles courtroom yesterday morning (April 8) for a recent deposition in a completely different lawsuit, but she didn't show up. Quelle surprise.

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Songstress Taylor Swift was the cover model for Your Body is a Wonderland magazine and she spent her time within its pages talking about what else -- her love life.

It's not like she's a successful young woman with anything else to talk about, geez.

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In "so adorable we feel the need to hug a basket full of puppies" news, Blake Shelton will officiate and sing at Kelly Clarkson's upcoming wedding. (We didn't know you could hire him for these sorts of things.)

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Jessica Simpson was confused that unprotected sex could lead to a pregnancy, and even Kim Kardashian didn't seem to get how babies were made -- but we expected better from Halle Berry, who's "surprised" she's knocked up again.

Then again, we'll give her a pass. She's 46 and thought all this accidental conception stuff was behind her.

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- Jamie Lynn Spears got drunk and nostalgic for the Britney/Justin Timberlake days.

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To promote her upcoming film 'The Bling Ring,' actress Emma Watson decked herself out like hooker-turned-socialite Julia Roberts in the romantic comedy 'Pretty Woman.' (Either that or she needs a new stylist, and stat.)

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