5 Most Amazing Celebrity Conspiracy Theories
Thanks to the Internet — as well as “public figures” like Glenn Beck, Alex Jones and David Eick — conspiracy theories have become a part of mainstream pop culture. The biggest theory to flood the news lately is that Courtney Love had her husband, and Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain murdered. A new documentary is breathing new life into this notion, conveniently close to the 20th anniversary of Cobain’s death. The Seattle Police Department also fanned the flames of theorist bloggers everywhere by briefly re-examining Cobain’s case. Viewed in the right light, conspiracy theories can be quite entertaining. Fringe theorists weave together massive, intricately sprawling narratives that you could lose yourself in for hours. The best of these narratives blend together the perfect ratio of actual fact and wild conjecture, using the conjecture to stick together the facts like mixing up Nerds candy bits into a mouthful of still-sweet bubble gum. These are some of the most entertaining celebrity conspiracy theories out there.
Lorde Is Not 17
There is, among the lesser-.known information havens on the Internet, a claim that teen pop superstar Lorde is older than the 17 years she claims she is. This is most likely due to her razor-sharp lyrics and her haunting singing talent. Some higher numbers, such as 33 and 42, have been proposed as her real age. We believe, though, that if she’s lying about her age, she’s probably much older than middle-aged. She’s probably actually from the middle ages — an immortal witch who steals youthfulness from children. She no doubt found a girl who could sing and is using the girl’s life-force to take over the world. She did say she’d rule, right?
Arnold Schwartenegger Is the Antichrist
Did you know that if you assign a specific set of numbers to the letters in our alphabet, and then add up the numerical value of the letters in the phrase ‘President Arnold Schwarzenneger,’ that the sum of those numbers is 666? Mind blown? No? Yeah, neither was ours. But check out this sweet video of him crushing s— in his own tank.
Elliott Smith Was Sacrificed by Freemasons
While many people are aware of the theory claiming that Elliott Smith‘s girlfriend was responsible for his death, not many know … ‘The Truth About Elliott Smith!’ With razor-sharp insight and a loose-cannon attitude toward spelling and grammar, the producer of this video proves his or her theory. Smith was ritually sacrificed by Freemasons because he was attempting to expose their stranglehold on Hollywood. There you have it, dear readers — the whole and obvious truth.
Hip-Hop Is Part of Satan’s Plan
Some people just have too much time on their hands. According to one popular theory, Miley Cyrus and Beyonce have so much free time that they’re actively recruiting teen girls into a Satanic cult. And Queen B’s husband, rapper Jay Z? Illuminati as hell. Just ask “expert” G. Craige Lewis. He’ll tell you all about it and the evils of hip-hop in the video below.
This is one of those theories best saved for late at night when you’ve got hours and hours to waste. It takes some digging, but once pointed in the right direction, you’ll find it difficult to stop reading. One website, a list of celebrities who’ve been cloned, calls itself a “red pill page,” a nod to ‘The Matrix.’ The massive list includes Lady Gaga, Ace Frehley and Courtney Love. The site says it gets most of its information from something called the Doppelganger and Identity Research Society. Need we even point out how legit this seems?