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Chris Brown + Rihanna’s Bloated Egos Are Saving Music. You’re Welcome.

Chris Brown Rihanna
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Arrogantly toxic and toxically arrogant couple Chris Brown and Rihanna recently posed a serious existential question: “What would music today sound like is these kids didn’t exist?”

Of course they pondered that whopper over social media, because they’re incapable of actually expressing a thought without an audience of millions.

Brown included the question along with the above photo, which he posted on Instagram before resurrecting his Twitter account over the weekend (as you’ll recall, he deleted the page about a week ago because he’s a big vulgar baby).

The picture shows him and a scantily clad Rihanna — as well as a potentially probation-violating puff of weed smoke — but the responses likely weren’t what he was expecting.

“It would sound like real r&b,” one person replied, with another saying, “Wayyyyyyyy betterrrrr.”

How about some aloe for those burns, Breezy?

Truthfully, a world in which RiRi and Brown never existed likely wouldn’t sound that much different at all. Considering the lack of songwriting credits they both have on their singles (save for such profundities as “Cake cake cake cake cake cake cake“), radio would likely be pretty similar, just with different — and probably much less Auto-Tuned — vocals.

Meaning: It would sound better.

Have a seat, kids. Just preferably not on one another’s laps if you plan on posting another nauseating photo of the incident.

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