Lindsay Lohan Can Ward Off Hurricanes Now
When she isn’t busy not showing up for work, fighting with her dad or looking for a new publicist, Lindsay Lohan spends her time keeping the world safe from dangerous weather phenomena.
And if you silly people on the East Coast would just LISTEN TO HER, maybe you could stop boarding up your windows and just relax already.
On Sunday night, as forecasters kept a close watch on Hurricane Sandy and New York City all but shut down, LiLo decided she’d had enough of all this soul-sucking negativity. And so she went where she always goes to share her bon mots of wisdom — Twitter.
WHY is everyone in SUCH a panic about hurricane (i’m calling it Sally)..? Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace.
— Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) October 29, 2012
In other words, stop being such a worrywart about Sandy or Sally or Sherlock or whatever and just think fluffy thoughts. Those make everything better. Damn, people. WHY MUST ALL OF YOU BE SUCH DEBBIE DOWNERS.
The reaction to this astonishing bit of weather prevention can be summed up in three letters — WTF — but out of all the replies, this one from @holytaco was our favorite: “If only you’d been there during Katrina to share that insight, maybe no one would have died or been homeless.”