Rihanna Is Surrounded by Vaginas and She’s Not Happy About It

Poor Rihanna is in a slump. Yes, the gorgeous 24-year-old pop diva is about to release a new album and its first song is already topping the charts, but that’s not cutting it for the vibrant Barbados native. What our little RiRi really wants -- needs, even -- is a date. She says hasn’t been on one in two years.

And now we have an answer to that age-old question: Hook-ups are not in fact "dates."

The singer graces the November cover of Vogue and is already filling stadiums for a 2013 tour, but, according to the interview she gave the magazine, her main concern is not playing arenas, but playing the field. The poor dear is apparently experiencing some sort of dry spell.

Rihanna told Vogue, “All I want is a guy to take me out and make me laugh for a good hour and take my ass back home. He doesn’t even have to come up. All I want is a conversation for an hour.”

We’re not sure Rihanna will be able to find a guy who just wants casual chit-chat, but it seems she hasn't even had the chance to find out. “No one asks," she lamented. "I’m waiting for the man who’s ballsy enough to deal with me. I’m going to wait, though. You always find the wrong s--t when you go looking.”

And then she summed up what may be the root of the problem: “I have too many vaginas around me at this point.”

An abundance of ladyparts aside, she supposedly had a fling with Ashton Kutcher several months ago, and of course right now there are all those rumors flying about a possible reunion with Chris Brown.

But when your companion of choice is one who once beat the crap out of you, yeah, maybe you're just better off alone.