"I lost my job six months ago, and I've been living pretty frugally until I find a new one. But my boyfriend doesn't have that problem. In fact, he has a great job where he makes a lot of money. I told him I didn't want us to spend more than $40 each on Valentine's Day gifts this year, because that's pretty much all I can afford.  But he said he's already gone way over that.

Should guys ALWAYS spend more on Valentine's Day?  Or should you talk about how much you're willing to spend?"

I don't think it's about how much or how little you spend. In your case, your boyfriend knows your financial situation. Stick to the limit you set, if he goes over then he goes over. He may want to spoil and pamper you, so let him...without guilt! Enjoy the day of love and have fun!